Uncertainty

(Just a short heads-up - my last post was about a similar topic, but I feel like I cannot stress living in a forward motion enough, so I had to write another post about it)

You are looking at that raspberry brownie and you know you want it, you need it. But then your vision slides off just a tiny bit to the right and there it is - a death-by-chocolate cake! Now you definitely want the cake. Oh but the blueberry muffin looks delicious too. But actually you still want the brownie... can I have a bit of everything please?

Do you know that scene? If you're not as big a sweet tooth as I am, then imagine yourself trying to figure out which chips you want - salt and vinegar, barbecue or maybe the sour cream & onion - or whatever else makes your will to decide vanish. You get the point, I hope.

Sometimes you think you know exactly what you want until, suddenly and without warning, other temptations come along and you're not so sure anymore about whether your prior choice is the right one and if it will make you happy. I absolutely detest being in this sort of situation but never seem to be able to escape them.

Just recently I had the debacle of having to decide if I wanted a caramel or raspberry brownie. Thankfully my friend, who I was having coffee with, offered to share so I got to have both. But how often do you have the choice of both? Exactly.
How do you decide what you want in the end, and do you sometimes regret your choices afterwards?
So many questions and no right answer...

By now I probably have confused you and I am sorry about that. Today is just one of those days where I cannot stop pondering about what my future might hold for me and if I have made the right decisions so far and what might change if I go either down road A or B. You see living in a new country, going to a new Uni and meeting new people has made me think about life differently. Do I regret coming here? No! Would I do it again? I don't know. Things might have been so different to what they are now, but does that make the present any less wonderful?

I think what I am trying to say is that life is full of uncertainty and nothing we do will ever erase this feeling of doubt we have about some things. The only reasonable thing we can do to cope with this uncertainty in my opinion, is to face it head first and without looking back. There is no use in living in the past or, what is even worse, pretending as if it was all bad or all good. We don't live in a world that is only categorised into black & white. The world is full of colour and we should embrace just that.

So if you are doubting any of your decisions or have some regrets: try put them behind you. Start every day as a fresh and empty canvas. You alone can achieve so much by simply living life with your eyes and mind open to new opportunities. Of course there will be times where you will come to regret a decision made, and not every day will be a good day. Mais c'est la vie, mon ami!
See each day as an opportunity rather than a burden and you will come to find that even bad decisions or mistakes, are of value. Appreciate the good and happy moments you have and never, no matter how bleak a situation is, give up hope for good things to happen. The sun always comes out eventually.

To finish this confusing and rather rambling monologue, I will leave you with a song that makes me happy. It may be about love, but I think it still fits, because inevitably good things will happen to us in our life, no matter our regrets and mistakes, and maybe it hasn't happened just yet.

talk soon,
xoxo
Em

Forgive and Forget

It is one of those days where you cannot stop revisiting old memories.

Contemplating whether you acted childish, unfairly or simply put: stupid. But going back to the past and thinking of what might have been does not help you live in a forward motion. And that is essentially what you have to do.  Unless you want to end up sitting in your home, alone, with a thousand cats as your only friends. Don't get me wrong - cats are cool animals, but they can't replace human beings as friends.

So what I am trying to say is that no matter how many regrets you have, or how often you relive that one moment: you cannot go back and change it to what you would have liked. All you can do is accept that is turned out differently, and live your life in such a way that you create moments you can fondly remember. Of course you cannot prevent things from happening that you will regret. But you can go about life with a positive attitude, taking everything as it comes and not reliving the past over and over, tormenting yourself over and over again.

In the end all that counts are the good memories we have our life. And most importantly try to love yourself some more. No one expects you to be perfect. You can make mistakes without being a bad person...

Thus, forgive yourself and others for messing up (by this I do not mean that you should forgive violence and abuse!) and forget all about trying to change things that happened in the past.






This song has been stuck in my head the entire day and somehow triggered my thoughts for this post. So I thought you might want to have a listen to it as well :)


So much for wanting to write more regularly and not too much about emotional outbursts. Oh well, I hope you can relate to what I was saying - or at least a bit.

See you soon,
xoxo
Em