Love is all you need

When you think about yourself what comes to mind?
Are you happy with who you are? Do you feel comfortable in your own skin?

For a lot of people self-consciousness, discontent and doubt predominate all thoughts concerning themselves. Be it their body or personality, a minority can say they love themselves the way they are and pass a polygraph examination. There always seems to be something "wrong" or "ugly" about yourself. You are too naive, you are too loud, you are too timid, you are fat, you are too skinny (primarily refers to skinny girls who think their frontier is too small), your laugh is awkward, your hair is too curly, your hair is too straight, your teeth are too yellow, your fingers are too chubby, your knees look like a face, your face looks as bumpy and bruised as the moon's surface,...

And sadly enough the media encourage this self-conscious behavior by putting size-zero models and stars on their covers, which in addition have been photoshopped heavily. Although there has been a shift towards so-called "oversize models", which let us be honest are completely normal sized women, walking on the runways as well as the all-skin-and-bones-models the general understanding of what is beautiful is dominated by Photoshop.

Now how are we supposed to learn to love ourselves if we are constantly being bombarded by fake-perfect images and constant "new revelations how exactly we can look just like our favorite actor/actress"? As soon as you believe that you can only be beautiful if you weigh as much (or little), wear the same clothes and use the same beauty products as your idols, you miss out on the opportunity to unfold all your inner beauty. The obsession with adapting other people's physique is very harmful for our own body image. Of course I am not saying that it is bad if you live healthy and take up on a few tips and habits of your favorite model or star - on the contrary! Some fitness routines are worth trying. But you should never fall into the habit of overly restricting yourself or worse punishing yourself just because you want to look like a photoshopped star!

Struggling to accept, appreciate and eventually love yourself has also been part of my life. Not only did I suffer under quite severe Acne throughout my entire high-school career but I am of a naturally more curvy posture, which means that I was never as skinny as my fellow class mates and friends. This led to me pretty much hating my body and as a result myself.

I tried everything to get rid off the Acne - all the expensive creams and treatments the celebrities talk about, all the diet changes that are suggested by experts. Nothing helped. During this period of time I started eating less and less and still was not satisfied with the way I looked. I did loose weight and today I can say that I was not even chubby to start with, but with a mind focused on looking like a photoshopped celebrity I was still as unhappy as before. So I started stress eating. And by this I mean a packet of cookies or a bar of chocolate close to every second day. I was unhappy, unhealthy and exhausted. At this point I was desperate to be noticed by the older boys at school although I was sure no one would even want to look at me because of my ugly face.

But miraculously my mindset changed. I focused on the attributes that I liked about myself and tried to emphasise those rather than focalise on all the things I did not think were pretty. I noticed that my figure actually was attractive and that being an hour-glass shape is something to be proud not ashamed of. My smile suddenly seemed softer, my eyes more tantalising and my acne was still there but it did not bother me that much anymore. I had started to like myself.

Over time I have learned to love myself the way I am with all my imperfections and flaws. It does not matter that I don't have the body of a model or the wits of a scientist. I eat healthy but every now and then indulge myself in some cake without worrying about "all these calories". I have found a balance between being disciplined with sports and healthy eating and enjoying life with all its perks (You know exactly what I'm talking about: nice long lazy days in bed with chocolate, chips and movies.). I see no point in overthinking all the things that might not be perfect about myself. Of course I still have insecurities and at times need to be reminded why I should love myself - thankfully there is something called friends and family! ;)

A group of people who love and support you are just as important to loving yourself as oxygen is for breathing. Everyone deserves to be loved by themselves and others and I think accepting your imperfections is the first step towards this feeling of appreciation.

I am not sure if this helped at all if you are self-conscious. But I hope the fact that I have overcome my insecurities is at least inspiration enough to look at yourself a little bit different! Because ultimately everyone is beautiful, they just have to discover in which way.

To conclude I thought this song would be a good happy-maker. Because whether you know it or not there is someone who loves you and sees all the beauty you carry within.


Talk soon,
xoxo
Em